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8th Grade Test Dataveillance Lauden-Kuhn Infinity Manifesto Silent Spring
Teacher's Opus Having & Being Lord of Zero Metaphores HUM 371 Final School Recording

"Hello!  You have reached the automated answering service of your school.  In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection:

* To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
* To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2
* To complain about what we do - Press 3
* To swear at staff members - Press 4
* To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
* If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
* If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone -Press 7
* To request another teacher, for the third time this year -Press 8
* To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
* To complain about school lunches - Press 0
* If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort:

Hang up and have a nice day!

*If you want this in Spanish, you must be in the wrong country.


JUDGING A BOOK BY ITS COVER 
 
  A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston , and walked timidly without an appointment in to the Harvard University President's outer office. 
 
  The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country hicks had no business at Harvard and probably didn't even deserve to be in Cambridge  
 
  'We'd like to see the president,' the man said softly. 'He'll be busy all day,' the secretary snapped. 'We'll wait,' the lady replied. 
 
  For hour s the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would finally become discouraged and go a way. They didn't, and the secretary grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even though it was a chore she always regretted. 
 
  'Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they'll leave,' she said to him! 
 
  He sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance obviously didn't have the time to spend with them, and he detested gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer office. 
 
  The president, stern faced and with dignity, strutted to ward the couple. 
  The lady told him, 'We had a son who attended Harvard for one year. 
 
  He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial to him, somewhere on campus.' 
 
  The president wasn't  t ouched. He was shocked. 'Madam,' he said, gruffly, 'we can't put up a statue for every person who attended Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery.' 
 
  'Oh, no,' the lady explained quickly. 'We don't want to erect a statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard.' 
 
  The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and homespun suit, then exclaimed, 'A building! Do you have any earthly idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard.' 
 
  For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. Maybe he could get rid of them now. 
 
  The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, 'Is that all it costs to start a university? Why don't we just start our own?' 
 
  Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and bewilderment. Mr and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away, traveling to Palo Alto , California where they established the university that bears their name, Stanford University, a memorial to a son that Harvard no longer cared about. 
 
  You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those who they think can do nothing for them. 
 
  .....................A TRUE STORY By Malcolm Forbes 
 

  'People will forget what you said, 
  People will forget what you did. 
  But people will never forget how you made them feel'.