THE AL GORE virus: Causes your computer to just keep  counting and counting
THE CLINTON virus: Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO memory
THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus: Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy
THE LEWINSKY virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then Emails everyone about what it did
THE RONALD REAGAN virus: Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored
THE MIKE TYSON virus: Quits after two bytes
THE OPRAH WINFREY virus: Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb, then slowly expands to restabilize around 200mb
THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus: Deletes all old files
THE ELLEN DEGENERES virus: Disks can no longer be inserted
THE PROZAC virus: Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care
THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus: Only attacks minor files
THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus: Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back
THE LORENA BOBBITT virus: Reformats your hard  drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows