The
Neologism Lexicon
AAAAA
- A driving
organization
for drunks
Artery
- The study of fine
paintings
Arachnoleptic fit - The eebie geebie dance performed
after walking through a spider web
Balderdash
- A rapidly receding hairline
Barium
- What you do when
CPR fails
Beaver Dam
- see
Chastity Belt
Blamestorming
- Group discussion on
failed project or missed deadline
Bozone
- The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating
Cashtration - The act of
buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent
Catepallor - The color you
turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating
Cesarean Section
- A district in Rome
Chastity
Belt
-
see Beaver Dam
Coffee
- The person upon whom one coughs
Colic
- A sheep dog
Congenital
- Friendly
Cube Farm
- Workstations separated by
shoulder-height, false walls
Denial
- A river in Egypt
Dictator
-
A potato shaped like a penis
Dilate
- To live long
Dopeler effect - Stupid
ideas that seem smarter because they were pitched rapidly
Esplanade
- To attempt an explaination while drunk
Euthansia - All
the kids in China
Flatulence
- Emergency vehicle that assists victims who have been run over
by a steamroller
Frisbeetarianism
- The belief that your Soul flies up onto the roof and stays
stuck there
Gargoyle
- Olive-flavored mouthwash
Generica
-
The same business franchises
all
across America
Giraffiti - Vandalism
spray-painted very, very high
Hormone
- The
sound of a working prostitute
I PHELTA THI
- The First Fraternity
Inoculatte
- To take coffee intravenously when you are running late
Irritainment
-
Annoying
TV programs that you refuse to avoid
Karmageddon
- All karmas in final conflict
Menopause
-Two
or more guys on break
Minor
Operation
- Coal digging
Monsoon
- The fear of Mondays
Morbid
- A higher offer
Mouse Potato
- Someone who can not
leave their computer
Negligent
- Answering the door in your nightgown
Ohnosecond
-
The
fraction
of a second in which a mistake is realized
Organic
- Musical
Paradox
- Parking for two
boats
Percussive
Maintenance
- Pounding an electronic device
into
submission
Pokemon
- A Rastafarian proctologist
Polaroid - Sitting
on ice too long
Post-operative
- A letter carrier
Prairie Dogging
- Heads popping up in a Cube
Farm in simultaneous
reaction
Proctologist
-
Astronaut
Protein
- In favor of young
people
Racist
- An Indy 500 driver
Rectitude
- The formal, dignified bearing adpoted by proctologists
Sarchasm - The gulf
between sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it
Serology
- The study of
English knighthood
SITCOMS
-
Single Income, Two Children,
Oppressive
Mortgage
Starter Marriage
-
Short-lived first marriage
ending in divorce: No kids, no regrets
Stress Puppy
- Someone who thrives
on stress and whining about it
Subordinate Clause
- Santa's helpers
Swiped Out
- The magnetic strip that no
longer functions on an ATM or credit card
Testicle
- A humorous question on an exam
Tumor
- An extra pair
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